surfinburton's Xanga

moving along

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:18:38 GMT

i've decided, like so many of you have, to switch to wordpress. it has been quite inconvenient making people create their own xanga just so they can respond on my site. and i like when people respond. so i thought i'd make it easier for those of you who don't want to make a stinkin xanga just to write a silly comment (of which i love, by the way).

go here:

http://surfinburton.wordpress.com/

you've GOT to try this

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 22:26:21 GMT

now i am aware that many things available to us Oregonians aren't available to all of you non-Oregonians, but in this case you've got to find some way to get ahold of this product. it's called luna and larry's coconut bliss. i will never eat ice cream again that is not coconut bliss. now let me explain. this product is made from 100% organic coconut milk and so contains no dairy. it is also made with agave nectar and so therefore contains no sugar. now one would think that's too fatty and it can't be good, but let me tell you... i am an ice cream connoisseur. i have been around the world and back trying every expensive ice cream i could and NOTHING compares. i'm serious. and here's another thing: coconut has suffered a bad rap for it's saturated fat content... but this it only the FDA trying to get us to buy American products that aren't healthy for you so you develop all sorts of malnutrition and disease and therefore end up buying medications the doctors give you who are funded by those evil doers such as Monsanto who only want your money. if you don't know about any of this... look it up as you need to know. but that's beside the point. coconut's saturated fat actually PROMOTES weight loss, as it is not processed like what you know to be saturated fat. it is antiviral, antibacterial, and antiprotozoal. i have included 2 links: one of which is the link to coconut bliss' website so you can check out the flavors and see where to buy (currently Oregon and Washington seem to be the only sources), and i have also included and informational website regarding research of coconut oil and its health properties. currently i use coconut oil when i cook chicken, fish, etc., and on my bread just like butter. it's spectacular. check it out!

http://www.coconutbliss.com/

http://www.coconutresearchcenter.org/

there she goes again

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 04:27:49 GMT

it took me several years to realize i go through stages of recurring dreams. when i was younger i had dreams of being able to fly. mostly it was to get away from the cinderella-like existence i endured in the attic of a dingy orphanage. then, probably around high school, i had two different recurring dreams. both of which are slightly promiscuous, and don't ask me why as i was not in the least bit. in one i often found myself at school, usually not the one i grew to know, and the bathrooms were always public, like in the middle of the hallway, and i was highly embarrassed in having to go in front of everyone. and yet i usually did and in so endured the stares and paranoias of stares from those around me. the other, even more embarrassing, is my dreams of walking through the hallways, or sitting in class, topless. completely exposed. but apparently, to everyone else, it was normal. those were the insecure, paranoid days. then of course after nate's death i had several dreams of finding nate, alive, and in doing so would wake up with a glimpse of joy only to realize it was all a dream. those have definitely been the hardest. every time i wake up it's almost like i relive that day. but more recently has been my dreams of inability. usually i'm in some sort of fancy outfit or at some flashy upscale party and i'm wearing the hottest heels hardy's ever seen. my confidence is high and i feel spectacular in my over-polished, over-priced bettys. and yet, as i move away from the caviar or the martini bar, i realize i can't walk in the shoes. my legs are wobbly and uncoordinated and i look like a five year old trying on mum's party-wear. i look ridiculous, but try to hid it. i'm worried those around me will think i'm drunk, or worse yet, incapable. incapable of walking, fitting in, looking fabulous, i'm not sure.

hopefully i'll move on to another phase as these recurring dreams aren't helping my morale much.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 05:08:51 GMT

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Friday, June 15, 2007

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 03:19:38 GMT

i just thought about how this father's day would have been nate's first. the first time i saw jack was 2 days before nate died. i am so incredibly grateful i was able to see him with jack. he had stuck jack in the baby sling and rested him on his belly. i wanted to cry when i saw him because i knew he would be the most amazing dad. and i'm sad it only lasted for 3 months. i found a few writings nate posted on his facebook when he first started it:

Nathan Taylor (North Texas) wrote
at 4:47pm on August 10th, 2006

All Right, I've finally given in and joined facebook. Carter Martin told me he had pics of him playing Desagna Diop in basketball, and I wanted to see them, so I joined. I'm also terrible at keeping in touch so this way everyone whose email I wrote down on the back of a receipt that I accidently threw away, I can get in touch with again. So to those who fall into the aforementioned group, I apologize and I'd love to hear how you're doing. To everyone, I'm going to be a father in less than two weeks. Holy Crap!

Nathan Taylor (North Texas) wrote
at 3:45pm on September 7th, 2006

I am now officially a father. I feel like an old man, but then i realize I'm not and I am really just a kid with a kid and i have no idea what I'm doing. I thought I knew what i was doing up until Jack popped his head out gurgling amniotic fluid everywhere (it was quite a graphic scene). it was at that moment, with Lauren screaming and Jack's bluish-gray head sticking out and the rest of his body still inside, that I realized holy crap, i have no idea what to do with this thing. Fortunately the midwife present did know what to do and he came out fine, its the next 18 years that i have to worry about.

Aside from the overwhelming feeling of responsibility, I'm loving being a dad. Jacks beautiful. I never thought I'd say that about a guy, but everytime i see him I'm amazed at the intracacy of his creation. I kiss him too. I never thought I'd do that either. I guess I'll stop before he gets too old, but right now he's beautiful.

what lovely words from a father. i miss you nate. happy father's day.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 23:11:57 GMT

more music worth hearing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrNkuQUhh3A (dixie chicks cover of patty griffin's song i have yet to hear her sing)

http://www.myspace.com/pattygriffin (patty griffin's myspace)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=54881699 (a swedish band called lambretta)

................................................................................................................................................................

so i'd like to edit this post and make it known that i actually only like one, maybe two songs by lambretta. they aren't very good at songwriting, which is a shame because they could be really good. so far the only songs worth hearing are 'the fight,''and all the roses' and 'faraway' other than that, i do not like their music. but another musician i did forget is emiliana torrini:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyuL1z2tejs

and of course i love this song by regina spektor:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p62rfWxs6a8
and this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pKujuTgtL0&mode=related&search=

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Wed, 30 May 2007 16:54:33 GMT

i am nearing the end of my story for jack, so keep checking for updates... eventually i will actually finish it.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Wed, 30 May 2007 04:58:55 GMT

i had a beer with my mother tonight. when would i ever thought that would have happened. my how things change. i am on some medication right now. i am waiting to see how things change. but in the last weeks i haven't seen much. but, we will see. tonight has been better, thanks to my family in many ways. i want to talk to timmy. i want to be there with him. i don't like how our family is spread out, even my extended family. i want to see them, but more importantly, i want to live my life with them. is that abnormal? from others i feel as though i am not alone. i don't feel alone.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thu, 24 May 2007 01:15:47 GMT

i'm lovin brandi carlile right now. check out the story, you'll love it. her gut wrenching voice gives me chills.

http://www.myspace.com/brandicarlileband

and with that, back to story time.

i don't understand people who drink coffee from a straw, unless of course it's cold

Sat, 19 May 2007 23:03:27 GMT

i am intrigued by a multitude of people. and it's almost an obsession. i wonder what the lives of others are like: their weaknesses, their strengths, what they're afraid of, what they love. quite frankly most people i know i am intrigued by, but there are a select few i just can't get out of my head:

one day, almost a year ago, i drove down commercial, a busy road in these south salem hills. i remember seeing what i thought to be a teenage girl, looking somewhat homeschool-ish (please take no offense, sir, but she wore a fanny pak) running. she wore what i thought to be suitable for a runner, but i was perplexed as to why she was not in school (unless she was indeed homeschooled). then my attention averted back to things more important, such as driving on a busy road, and i dismissed the running girl with the fanny pak. about 3 days later i'm driving down lancaster, another busy salem roadway, yet located on the east side of town. and the funniest thing happened. there was the same girl, running down the road. this time she was on my side of the road, so i was able to take a closer look. she still wore her fanny pak, she was still running, but she wasn't in her jogging outfit. rather, she wore civilian clothing including a t shirt and jean shorts. because of this i immediately noticed her calves. she outfitted the most defined rock hard calves i have ever seen. i was amazed that a teenager, looking nearly 14, could have such stellar limbs. but this still did not shock me until few days later. i was working downtown at this point, but was leaving as my shift was over. as i walked out the door i looked both ways for sidewalk traffic and was ready to proceed when, sure enough, it was the running girl heading straight towards me. once again she ran in non workout clothing carrying shopping bags and a purse. in the middle of downtown at the busiest hour, she trekked on through the crowds with her quiet, melodic pace, unaware of the people around her. at this point i was able to catch a better glimpse of her face. and i was astonished. she seemed to be 15 and yet 35 and the same time. now can someone explain that to me? it made no sense. now i have seen this girl/woman nearly a dozen times in every stretch of salem and every time i see her, she is running. with no one. seemingly not for a mode of transportation either. it's almost as though she is unable to not run. today when i saw her, i noticed she wore mittens and a girly ski cap, and i realized that everytime i've seen her, she wears mittens and a ski cap. another strange feat, considering it was like 75 degrees today, and she was running.

don't ask me why i am perplexed and intrigued, honestly i couldn't tell you. but i do look out for her when i am driving now, hoping to catch a glimpse of the running girl/woman.